


Misaligned Stars

by PeachyFoxStar



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Lies, Lovers, M/M, Marriage, Onghwang, Soulmates, hwangwink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-06-29 16:44:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15733419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyFoxStar/pseuds/PeachyFoxStar
Summary: In a world where love is not an option but a predetermined fate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Late Entry for D-6 and D-7 of OngHwang Week but still, enjoy :) 
> 
> Spotify Playlist:  
> [Misaligned Stars Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/stc9l1vs597zmmb1snoh0a48n/playlist/1eSsQDssvaDJq251frsj9z?si=_iavb01cQdadpzqzTzL7qg)
> 
> Please Notice!  
> 1\. This is the first time I've written angst like this and I would really appreciate it, if you guys can leave me some feedback or rate it from 1-10 after you finish reading the story, Just so you could tell me how you felt while reading it. ('Cause I feel like an emotionless monster and it's not good)  
> 2\. If you decided to listen to the playlist while reading, please DO NOT SHUFFLE! I tried to arranged the songs accordingly (Keyword: Tried) and it might be better to listen to it that way. There are some songs, meant for specific parts and I know we all have different pace when reading but I tried my best.

❇ Misaligned Stars ❇

 

The event is just as grand as Seongwoo had thought. Wreaths congratulating the newly wedded couple are lined up outside the hall with hundreds of well known guests pouring in to show their respect. The hall is lit up wonderfully by a chandelier that Seongwoo almost feels like he entered a fairy tale. Rose petals are scattered on the majestic red carpet, while the white linen tables are decorated with different shades of roses, which makes them stand out the most.

They say red roses are the color of beauty, passion and love. For a long time, Seongwoo believed it was true, until today. 

There’s a sea of smiles, cheers and laughter being exchanged as they wait for the reception to start. The guests held their wine glasses up to the air, talking about how the couple fit like puzzle pieces welded together in perfection, their chemistry none like others.

“Let’s take one group picture” Seongwoo says with a tight lipped smile, interrupting their conversation. They nodded, huddling closer ㅡan evidence of how tightly knit they areㅡ before turning towards Jisung for the photo. He hears the countdown from three and the camera makes a sharp sound, the flash blinding for a second.

In that moment, the lights dimmed and Seongwoo immediately felt his breath hitched in nervous anticipation.

On the red carpet where the rose petals lie, he sees Minhyun walking in, his back straight and a smile gracing his lips. He's clad in a suit rather than the traditional hanbok and it makes Seongwoo’s heart thump a little in his chest, partly in awe and partly in hurt as he held another man’s hand.

Seongwoo loved roses, it reminds him of Minhyun and his beauty, but now that it has been tainted by a different meaning, he felt like swallowing shards of hatred. He felt bitter and numb as he stood grounded in his place, heart shattering into a million pieces.

The joke is too cruel even for someone like Seongwoo.

In Minhyun’s world where the rest of the people stood higher than others, living in pools of riches and glamour, Seongwoo felt like a blot in the landscape. Like a fish out of water. Now that he’s standing in the same place as his lover, it dawns to him how differently they’ve been living from the start.

It’s then that he realizes  how much they forced their fates to be intertwined even if they both knew, they’re not soulmates.

Like how most cliche movies go, the crowd cheers and hollers for the lovely couple to kiss, the necktie around his neck suddenly feels too tight for comfort. Wasn’t it Minhyun who tied it for him just this morning? He tries to ignore the prickling pain in his chest, as he followed the oblivious Jisung who’s taking photos.

Minhyun glanced towards him briefly, a flash of concern passing by his eyes. Seongwoo attempts a smile, giving a small nod as his permission. Mentally, Seongwoo is punishing himself for the stupidity. He could’ve easily declined it but with everyone’s eyes on the pair, it was too hard not to let it happen. Seongwoo’s stomach churns in jealousy as the couple kissed. It was brief but the happiness that radiated from Minhyun’s partner felt like the blazing heat of the sun.

Jisung nudges Seongwoo, telling him to smile for the happy couple and he does it forcefully.

_You can get through this Ong Seongwoo._

Seongwoo realized he had become ugly with desire, wishing that Minhyun’s future husband would have an unlikable face or distorted personality but the gods were against him. He thought no one could rival how breathtaking Minhyun is but Park Jihoon is another story to tell.

There’s probably no one in South Korea who doesn’t know Park Jihoon. Those big doe eyes, high bridged nose and enticing laughter is what captured everyone’s attention even when he is not a celebrity. He is the epitome of beauty and who is Seongwoo to come in between?

Like most couples, their relationship is not a smooth sailing cruise. He associates it more to an airplane in turbulence during the longest rides. Most of time, Minhyun would be the one to leave and Seongwoo would beg him to stay but he always comes back.

He comes back late at night, lips crashing onto Seongwoo as they strip down their clothes in the hallway, hands desperately clinging onto each other. Every fading mark and bruise is replaced by a fresh one as Minhyun asked Seongwoo whom he belonged to. A series of _Minhyun, Minhyun, Minhyun,_ spills out of his mouth, eyes wide blown and breathing ragged with exhaustion but Seongwoo is never the one to stop giving.

Sometimes, he comes early in the morning, tired and in need of comfort. They kiss slowly, teasing hands roaming around their bodies as Seongwoo pressed himself on the kitchen island. He reprimands Minhyun, the food he’s cooking left unfinished with the pleads of the older man.They make love in the kitchen, the living area, the shower and bedroom. Every corner of their secret home, tainted by their love making.

Their version of love comes in different forms, no matter how normal or twisted it was. It’s theirs to hold.

Seongwoo finds himself most vulnerable when they’re entangled under the sheets, head resting on Minhyun’s chest as he listened to the steady pace of his lover’s heartbeat. However, his peace doesn't last when it only takes a second for his eyes to land on his bare finger, the truth of what they are sinking deep within his heart, like talons clawing out his chest for cheating fate.

The reality makes Seongwoo live in anxiety and fear, a forbidden love that was not predetermined.

Seongwoo lives everyday with the fear of Minhyun leaving him, but he doesn’t voice out his thoughts. They remain hidden at the back of his mind, because whenever Minhyun tells him how perfect they are together or how sorry he is for hiding their relationship, the truth is, Seongwoo holds on to that.

Their relationship is already hard to glue back with the cracks that formed within it, but the biggest storm is yet to come in the form of a prolonged truth.

Minhyun breaks the news to Seongwoo one afternoon as they're staying in the living area. Minhyun’s head was on his lap, eyes closed as he uttered that cursed sentence.

His heart stops beating for a second as the magic wears off. The veil drops to let him see the truth but Seongwoo pretends to be blind through it.

Or should he really?

“How long have you known?” His voice wavers, like a child being robbed away of of his freedom. Seongwoo clenched his fist tightly, nails digging deeper into his skin, lips bruised from biting too hard as he wait for Minhyun to answer the question.

“I’ve known for months now” He answers calmly, and it made Seongwoo want to scream in frustration but he doesn’t, instead he pushes Minhyun to sit up.

“Why...why didn’t you tell me? These are things you don’t keep as a secret Min” He tries to stop the sobs but it was hard when you’re taking information this much. Is he going to accept this fate? His focus is solely on Minhyun, heart throbbing in pain “What are you going to do?”

Minhyun opens his mouth before closing it again, gathering Seongwoo in his arms instead, to place a kiss on the crown of his head. Minhyun knows he cannot offer a consolation to how his lover is feeling, there is no assurance if he were to say words out loud. The wedding won’t be cancelled, their marriage would still go through but…

“Seongwoo, listen to me, this marriage won’t last long I promise” Seongwoo doesn’t hear those words. He’s just falling endlessly in a loop that are his lies. How long is he willing to keep this facade up?

“Don’t accept it” He manages to say, hands clasp together in hopes that Minhyun would hear his plead.

If he truly loved Seongwoo, he wouldn’t do this, even if the person he’s going to wed is his soulmate.

“Seongwoo” Minhyun starts, as he got off the couch to kneel in front of him “This marriage won’t last. I promise you, I will get a divorce secretly and we can flea this country. Just, right now it’s too big of a risk considering everyone in the media knows we’re soulmates but I only love you”

It must be the words or the loving stare, whatever it is, Seongwoo was forced to agree to it. Now, here he is, in their shared apartment, drinking all the memories from earlier away. He experienced being pricked by a thorn before, the pain only lasted for awhile, now, he felt like he’s wrapped in them and kept in place with nowhere to go.

Seongwoo trusts Minhyun, but the mistake of letting him go is a reckless decision he shouldn’t have made.

 

Minhyun is everything Jihoon could ask for. During their brief meetings in the past, he always had a gentle smile lying upon his lips. Minhyun has his own way of talking, enough to capture the the attention of his listeners while his mannerisms are refined like the nobleman that he  is. In this world, Jihoon can’t possibly find anyone like Hwang Minhyun.

Finding out they were soulmates happened in a magical way for him. He has never been a fan of those fairytales where they give you false idea about finding your true love just from one meeting but he did.

The usual gala held by the most powerful companies is not a place Jihoon often wanted to go to. The crowd has always been very unkind to those who doesn’t stand on the same pedestal as them. In reality, he hated that word. Jihoon never regarded himself as someone with high power, he is just privileged to have been born in his family. Hjs parents had the money, not him.

He preferred real people rather fake ones. Just that night, someone caught his eyes. A tall handsome man he doesn’t recall ever seeing. It’s out of Jihoon’s character to approach a stranger first but he does it towards Minhyun. They talked, laughed and understood each other. They shared the same views that he didn’t find in every other suitor he had.

Jihoon decided he likes him enough and so under the influence of alcohol, he invites Minhyun to dance, their bodies dangerously close to each other. Minhyun pulled him to the side after the song finished and took out a single rose from behind him before placing a chaste kiss on Jihoon’s lips.

Maybe it was just his way of showing affection for someone he found endearing but after the kiss, his body temperature rose, a hot tingling sensation like fire burning engulfed him and his ring finger felt hot like something was being embedded on it and there it was, the mark he always wished wouldn’t appear.

Minhyun chuckled near the shell of his ear, making Jihoon desperate for his touch.

Jihoon never wished to find his soulmate. He always thought a predetermined fate is a mess waiting to bug his life and yet here he is, under the man who looked ridiculously wasted. His mother told him countless stories of how people met each other in the most unlikely ways, maybe, he could include this one and tell his future kids.

The thought makes him laugh. He was against it a few minutes ago and yet, he is planning their future already. They said finding your soulmate will make you feel strongly about them immediately.

It might be true but at the same time, it could be the alcohol speaking on his behalf.

Unfortunately, Minhyun is nowhere near the person he met on brief meetings and short dates. He looked forward to their first night together but he cut off everything before Jihoon could invite him inside.

“I will give you rules to follow and if any of these gets out, I will make sure to bring your company down” The cold demeanour, the harsh way of talking, it wasn’t like the Minhyun he met. It’s like he changed to a different person. “One, this is a business marriage, two, I will never touch you and three, don’t even think that one second I will fall in love with you”

Jihoon didn’t have the time to speak, the words processing in his mind before the door is shut to his face.

 

Seongwoo wakes up to incessant banging on his door. Wasted and depressed, he tried to pick himself up off the ground, dragging his feet towards the entrance. Whoever it was, he didn’t appreciate the early visit, especially not after his boyfriend’s wedding.

More loud banging and Seongwoo musters all his will not to shout at the person behind this door. Does this person even know what time it is?

“It’s fucking 3 in the mor...Minhyun?” All the anger dissipates in an instant when Minhyun came into view and his heart sang in happiness. He's there instead of being in his husband's arms.

Minhyun's here.

Seongwoo genuinely smiles, alcohol suddenly out of his system. He is still wearing the suit, clean and perfect, just like he is. No marks of kisses or smell of expensive perfume lingered and Seongwoo knew Minhyun is his.

Distraught is present on his lovely features and once he held Seongwoo’s face, the light of the moon makes his wedding ring shine.

 _It’s just temporary happiness_ , his mind whispers,

 _he won’t love you anymore_ , his heart prods.

He bites his lip, taken aback by the thoughts and it’s only been one day.

_No._

Seongwoo will venture through this with Minhyun.

“Room” Minhyun states shortly with a commanding voice, hand loosening the necktie on his neck. He doesn’t wait for any answer as his hands are already on Seongwoo. He aggressively tears off the younger’s clothing, letting it fall to the ground as their lips crashed together. Seongwoo had no time to process, back instantly hitting the wall as his hands accidentally hits a hanging photo by the living area.

The kiss is fervent, rushed, hard and it hurts him. Minhyun has been a gentle lover but he has always been keeping a monster. The monster that he has learned to love.

Minhyun hauls him up, hands gripping his thighs too hard that it makes him wince in pain but he endures everything. He whimpers slightly, not daring to speak. In this very moment, all he could do is give in. Maybe Minhyun will stay a little longer if Seongwoo gave it all to him.

“Seongwoo, who do you belong to?” Minhyun whispers in his ear.

There's no hesitation in his answer as he whispers out a reply _“You”_

 

Jihoon thinks he’s gotten accustomed to their routine.  Every morning, Minhyun would come back smelling like a different man, a distinct change permeating in the air. He has a sensitive nose, therefore, it’s easy to pick up a different smell especially when he’s already associated Minhyun to that of vanilla.

It’s a Friday night, the only time Minhyun actually stays in their shared home.

On days wherein Jihoon’s by himself, he doesn’t think it’s sad. During the day, he likes to walk their guard dog around the neighborhood. He watches the kids playing by the park, the ducks swimming in the pond and the elderly walking side by side. Whenever he catches a glimpse of their happy faces and their red marked ring fingers, his smile disappears.

It reminds him that there’s a happiness that can’t be his.

At night, these thoughts remain at the back of his head as he watched a movie in their home theater, the comfort of his pajamas and the big soft sofa bed enough to bring  his mood up. There’s food by his side as the only thing that makes up the noise of the room is the television. Somewhere halfway, he falls asleep and when he wakes up, he’s back in his bed, Minhyun nowhere to be found.

Jihoon enjoys his time alone.

Unfortunately, he’s only human and when he’s sick, the longing for companionship becomes stronger.

“Jihoon?” Comes Minhyun’s voice from behind the door, the usual cold and uncaring tone making his heart clench. Due to their bond, emotions connecting to his soulmate often feels ten times better or worse.

Jihoon coughs, trying to act as normal as possible “Yes?”

“Did you have dinner?”

 _No, because my throat hurts so bad_ is what Jihoon wanted to say but he settled for simple “Yes”

A small white lie.

“Alright” The response is brief and it makes him feel worse.

If they are soulmates the how come Minhyun doesn’t feel that he’s miserable? Why doesn't he know that Jihoon’s sick and needed a companion?

He bites his lip, closing his eyes to force himself to sleep. The next thing he sees when he wakes up is a hand over his forehead and the worried face of his husband.

“You lied” Minhyun tells him as he took out the thermometer from his mouth “You haven't eaten and you’re sick”

“I didn’t want to bother you” Jihoon pulls up the blanket, feeling cold all of a sudden. He watched as Minhyun walked to the desk, coming back with a glass of water and medicine.

“Take it, it will make you feel better” The gentle voice, the caring demeanour, they’re all back and suddenly, all the affections he’s been trying so hard to suppress comes back again.

He merely nods, trying to calm himself. He thinks their hands linger for a little bit more but Minhyun pulls his first. The tips of his ears are red, making Jihoon smile a bit. “Thank you”

“You’re welcome” As he drank the medicine, he felt the stare boring holes through his soul, is there something wrong? “Next time, tell me when you're not feeling better. I have Dr. Kim just in case your fever gets worse and I cooked food for you, unfortunately, I am not a great cook so it might be a little bland”

Jihoon smiles genuinely this time “It’s ok, I appreciate it” It’s a small gesture but it’s the first time Minhyun has ever looked his way. It makes Jihoon want to savor that  moment a little bit longer.

“Do you have anything else that you need”

 _I want you to stay_ The words are hovering in his head, he only needed to say it.

A few seconds passed by, the room devoid of any noise, even the clock seemed to have ran out of battery. The room temperature has gotten considerably cold, cool air filtering the room. The windows are open, curtains tied up to the side. He must've forgotten to close it before he fell asleep.

“Can’t you stay?” The question comes out of his mouth before he can even stop himself and he feels Minhyun tensed beside him. The warm eyes turned cold again as the man in front of him pursed his lips, standing from his place.

“Don’t mistake my kindness for something else” The reply is cold, like he had been standing in the rain with no one to shelter him.

Once again, Jihoon felt lonely.

He felt bitter, a rush of emotion coming in all at once.

Why is a different person receiving the end of Minhyun’s affections when Jihoon’s his soulmate?

Why is he the one who needed to suffer?

Does he not deserve happiness?  

“Why are you doing this? I...I don’t want you to be nice to me if you’re just going to pretend again that I don’t exist” He manages to choke out a response, hands clammy. "Can't you at least give me- _us a chance?_ "

Jihoon has always been a fighter. He never allows himself to feel vulnerable in front of anyone but somehow, Minhyun's able to bring out these emotions out of him. He wanted Minhyun to laugh the same way he hears him over the phone, he wanted to hear the kind words that come out of his mouth, most of all, he wanted his heart.

But his words don't make any effect on him. Minhyun doesn't stop for him, doesn't even dare apologize.

“Ring the bell if you need something, the maids will come and get it for you”

He simply didn’t care.

_No._

_It’s ok._

_We’re soulmates._

_He’ll come to me eventually._

 

It’s a Friday night and as always, Minhyun comes back to _their_ house. The house that he loathes and wishes would burn down to the ground. Every week, he allows himself to get drunk, momentarily forgetting that his lover isn’t with him.

At this point, Seongwoo felt like a broken doll, only getting fixed after three days once Minhyun comes back to his arms. He holds his first glass up to watch his reflection staring back at him with dead and soulless eyes. He unwillingly stares at his finger after that, no sign of any red mark appearing.

If he cut it and made it bled, will he finally become Minhyun’s soulmate?

He downs the first drink until he reached his fifth, the man behind the counter looking bored with his job. The bar is not as wild and noisy as the past ones he went to. There’s a certain danger if he lost his phone. The photos of Minhyun present in every album he had compiled.

Seongwoo loves Minhyun and this kind of scandal would only bring  him trouble and he didn’t want that. The path he’s walking on is dangerous. There are broken shards everywhere, one wrong move and it could end up killing them both.

“Hey there” There’s someone who speaks to him but he can only clutch his phone, waiting for a call. Seongwoo expected nothing though, Minhyun doesn’t call and message him on Friday, out  of respect to his husband he says. “You look like you need a companion”

The man has a husky voice, speaking near the shell of his ear that it makes him shudder. “Go away, I have a boyfriend”

He doesn’t mean to be annoyed but what he needed right now is another drink and not attention from some random stranger. The man chuckles beside him, sliding by the seat next to him “Feisty, I like you”

Seongwoo ignores him, turning his attention to his Bacardi instead. If he called Minhyun now and told him someone’s bothering him, will he come to his rescue?

“You’re missing out on a lot by not talking to me you know” There is  cockiness with the way the man spoke and he didn’t like it one bit. Seongwoo fell in love with a humble and gentle person. Arrogant jerks like this stranger stirs up the hate inside him. “I’m Kang Daniel”

“How much will it take for you to leave me alone?” He snaps, putting the glass down on the table forcefully. His head is hurts, his hearts hurts. “I told you didn’t I? I have a boyfriend”

The man -Daniel- snickers “I’m pretty expensive but I believe you” He leans on to the table, asking the man  for a drink of his own, a whiskey, Seongwoo notes “Why is your boyfriend leaving you here to get wasted?”

He drinks another shot, maybe he should really try to call Minhyun “It’s none of your business”

“Ok, then why are you drinking here if you have a boyfriend? Escaping from something?” His words doesn’t fall on deaf ears. The harsh reality  bites stronger than Seongwoo likes. He turns to face the man, phone in hand to dial the familiar number his finger’s been itching to call.

“Leave me or I call my boyfriend” He threatens, raising his phone up to his ear.

He shrugs, drinking his whiskey “Go ahead, I’d love to hear an explanation from your boyfriend”

The phone rings once, twice, thrice until someone picks it up and it fills his heart with unmeasurable glee. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Daniel stopped drinking,  waiting for him.

“Minhyun!” Seongwoo happily says through the phone. His heart drums in his chest, as if he hadn’t seen Minhyun yesterday.

“Who is this?” An unfamiliar voice cuts through his happiness. “I’m sorry, if you’re calling for Minhyun he left his phone in our room”

_Our room._

“A-Ah...I’m sorry” The heavy weight dragged him down, pulled him into an abyss and locked him up. This is the reality Seongwoo has been hiding from, the truth that he cannot escape “Thank You, sorry for disturbing you”

“I assumed it didn’t go well?” The voice is laced with amusement, making Seongwoo loathe him all the more.

Suddenly, the place is suffocating him. The dim lights makes him dizzy and uncontrollable tears starts to stream down his cheeks. Before he could humiliate himself further, Seongwoo slaps money down on the counter, not even paying attention to Daniel as he left the bar.

He drags his body away from the place, staggering from side to side as he tried to keep himself from falling down to the floor. He crashes to one body, two bodies, apologizing profusely as he slipped away. He doesn’t remember where his feet took him, only following the well dimmed lamp posts until he’s reached a crossing, the red light glaring at him from across the street.

Seongwoo chuckles, shaking his head until he’s got ahold of the post, trying his hardest to press the button. He steadies himself, focuses his finger and smiles when he-supposedly- pressed it. Without paying attention to anything else, he starts to cross, only to be held by someone, the blaring noise of the car speeding pass them alerting him.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” There he is, that man again.

“Why do you care?” His words slur, fingers poking the man’s chest. “You’re not even him, you’re not the person who’s supposed to save me”

He sees the man frown “I’m just trying to be nice but if you think you can get home without dying then be my guest”

Seongwoo ponders for a while, clutching onto his sleeves. When he looks up, the face of Kang Daniel greets him. Although he wants to slap him, shout at him, Seongwoo knew these are low attempts to get himself out of the misery.  

He wanted something else as he looked into those warm pool of brown eyes.

The warmth he provided, though, is not the same and yet he yearns for comfort, a touch that can save him from all the agony “I...I’m sorry”

Daniel merely shakes his head, letting his grip loosen“Hey, I’ll take you home as an apology” Seongwoo doesn’t complain this time.

The drive back to his apartment is quiet, the momentary solitude calming the storm within his heart. Seongwoo sat by the passengers seat while Daniel drove his expensive car. It was like the ones you see in movies whenever there are rich people.

Daniel must be one of them, Seongwoo thinks. The world of the rich may be big, but their connections to each other make it seem small. He’s only seen a part of Minhyun’s world, a brief glance when he attended the wedding but he saw some of it happening behind the scenes whenever his lover receives messages.

There are some things in life he wouldn’t be able to get a taste of and one of them is the world of Minhyun. Out of millions, Seongwoo always did wonder why Minhyun came back to him. Why out of all the people he met, Minhyun was the one who pulled him out of his misery.

Seongwoo never wished to meet his own soulmate. No love could ever compare to that of loving Minhyun and at times, he feels sorry to his own half. He can only accept the tides of fate if they’re overturned. Maybe, that’s why Seongwoo has been so afraid of meeting and allowing new people to come into his life.

For as long as he could remember, Minhyun was the only person who saw behind the facade he held back when they first met. The brief moments were small gestures, allowing Seongwoo to fall slowly towards the man a lot of people wished they could have as a soulmate.

Minhyun is not how Seongwoo pictured him when they kissed inside the gym. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to be devoured by someone. His trembling fingers held Minhyun’s coat as the man pushed him back to the walls, marking every part of him.

It was the only time Seongwoo wanted to be selfish.

He wanted Minhyun all to himself even if they weren’t soulmates.

Every second spent together was always hidden away from everyone’s view and he was alright with that. The stolen kisses in the storage room, occasional glances during morning assemblies, a brush of their fingers slightly when they pass by the hallway makes up for it.

By the end of their graduation, Seongwoo and Minhyun had a place to call home and every night, they made it theirs.

But as all stories have a hidden beast, the ugliness of his came whenever he intertwined fingers with his lover.

The time they’re spending together now is not like before. Their way of making love became painful,  an intensity higher of hurting each other. Seongwoo pours his heart out, clawing Minhyun’s back at night in desperate hold, creating marks on his milky skin while he allows his lover to sink his teeth deeper into his skin until red marks appear everywhere.

He is bruised and broken.

Seongwoo sees red, but then, why is it not appearing on his finger?

During the wee hours of the morning, Minhyun leaves him alone, a chaste kiss place upon his lips and a  promise to return. Seongwoo keeps it close to his heart, believing in those words, but when Minhyun doesn’t come on time, his mind becomes riddled with fright.

Maybe, their story has finally come to an end? Seongwoo thinks, wrapping himself up in a blanket as he lie awake at night. But then, he’s proven wrong when he hears keys dangling by the door, the sound of the knob turning and the smell of Citrus filling their apartment.

Suddenly, their time hasn’t expired yet and he allows himself to love the growing misery blooming in his heart.

Because the hardest time hasn’t come yet and Seongwoo will continue to delve further even if it meant breaking every part of him just as long as he can hold Minhyun.

“Hey, we’re here” Daniel wakes Seongwoo out of his trance, his apartment building in view, with someone standing by the entrance. The figure looks familiar and immediately, Seongwoo rushes outside the car. “You forgot your phone!”

Seongwoo mentally curses, retrieving his phone, but not before his wallpaper image flashes before Daniel’s eyes. The younger man (He assumes) suddenly takes his wrist in a tight hold, eyebrows furrowing together“Your phone wallpaper, looks really familiar”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have time for this!” Seongwoo replis in a haste “Thank You for the ride!!”

He doesn’t wait for any reply because the important thing is, Minhyun’s there, on a Friday.

 

Minhyun narrows his eyes when he sees Seongwoo come out of a stranger’s car, the plate number oddly familiar, but it’s not the reason his blood boils. The mere thought of Seongwoo with another person sends him into rage that he couldn’t contain.  

Seongwoo is patient and kind, the type of person Minhyun didn’t deserve to have in his life. He’s the person sculpted for Minhyun. The one who accepted every flaw and imperfection even if they weren’t soulmates. For a long time, he has always wondered why Seongwoo never left, why this man who was like an angel always stayed.

Minhyun asks but he knows the answer is also instilled inside of him. Minhyun is a selfish person and Seongwoo is the happiness that that can’t be taken away from him.

“You’re here, it’s a Friday” The smell of alcohol is strong, it doesn’t fit Seongwoo.

“Were you out drinking?” He sees guilt all over Seongwoo’s face, an expression Minhyun always manages to paint on his lovely features. With a sigh, he grabs ahold of the younger’s hand and they go back to his- _no,_ _their_ apartment together.

Minhyun cannot count the number of times their relationship has gone down. Everytime, it would be his fault, leaving Seongwoo crying as if they hadn’t love each other. It started when Seongwoo found his love for photography, capturing images of the landscape and Minhyun. The sight is every bit of Minhyun’s wish, a love he hoped would last long.

But it’s ugly.

His pictures in Seongwoo’s albums were horrifying to look at.

Whenever his gaze lingers on his lover, he sees the pure and unfaltering love, those warm eyes embracing every bit of the monster that he is, but whenever Minhyun sees himself through the mirror, he never saw someone deserving of Seongwoo’s warmth.

Minhyun has always been the logical one, Seongwoo tells him one day. He’s smart, always choosing the right decisions and paving the greater way for his company. But along these lines, there’s a lingering question in Seongwoo’s eyes, the one he never asked Minhyun.

_Why did he choose Seongwoo out of everyone else?_

The answer is very simple for him. Without Seongwoo, Minhyun would lose every bit of his sanity, every bit of his rationale.

Without Seongwoo, no world exists and revolves around Minhyun.

He was given so many chances to stop falling in love, to give Seongwoo the happiness he truly deserved, so they can move on while it’s still early.

Minhyun breaks him once, cheating right in front of his face and Seongwoo looked like the world just crashed down upon him. There’s no feeling of satisfaction, Minhyun learns he didn’t like that expression on Seongwoo’s face as his feet takes him back to him, apology spilling out of his mouth.

He breaks Seongwoo twice, this time it’s his choice to leave but the man calls him, desperate to have him back. Minhyun complies and tells himself to love Seongwoo a little bit more.

 _It won’t hurt_ he says.

He breaks Seongwoo the third time, a mantra repeating in his head.

 _This is the last, stop hurting Seongwoo,_ but it doesn’t end there, because whenever he sees Seongwoo learning to love himself and others, Minhyun forces his way back into his life.

It became a process of breaking and fixing Seongwoo, until every bit of him has been shattered, irreplaceable by anyone else other than him.

Minhyun knows, it’s selfish of him to ask Seongwoo not to love anyone else when all he’s done the entire time is find other people to give him what he wanted, but he never found what needed in any of them.

The feeling of being loved is something only Seongwoo can give him.

It might have been because in this world, the only person who chose to trust and believe in him, without false pretenses is Seongwoo.

Minhyun always thought he was the wiser one, that with Seongwoo, his mind and heart are working simultaneously, then why is it that even with his lover under his arms, his heart was looking for a certain warmth left by his soulmate?

He discovers later on, he couldn’t change the monster that he is.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Seongwoo whispers, hand on Minhyun’s chest so he can feel the heartbeat of his lover. Minhyun is peaceful beside him, his breathing steady as he draw circles on Seongwoo’s palm. The night is still young, with nothing to interrupt them.

Seongwoo thinks he’s never been this happy to know that Minhyun chose him but when he looked at his lover’s eyes, he can tell something’s wrong.

Minhyun is never an open book. Even after years of being together, Seongwoo still finds it hard to read the expressions behind his lover’s face. Minhyun always wore a confident expression, he always gets what he wanted through his charming words and grand gestures.

The person in front of him makes him worry.

“There’s nothing wrong” Minhyun answers him, placing a kiss upon his lips, a sigh escaping his mouth. Seongwoo can tell he’s lying, dread creeping upon his heart.

“How’s...Jihoon? How is your married life?” Although it hurts Seongwoo to ask this, he thinks he shouldn't just shun it. Minhyun tells him they’re getting a divorce after a year but he’s never told Jihoon, not yet.

It’s been a month of coming back and forth. Jihoon has kept silent and Minhyun is careful not to get caught. It is scandalous on his part, their stocks could go down until there’s no way up.

A year is a long time to be hidden in the shadows.

It’s enough time for Minhyun to change his mind about Seongwoo.

“Let’s not talk about this” He felt Minhyun tensed up beside him, hands cupping his face until their lips met again. It’s habit Seongwoo has learned to hate over time. Whenever Minhyun didn’t want a certain subject to be brought up, he diverts Seongwoo’s attention away.

The kiss is gentle, like it’s tip toeing around him with secrets Minhyun wanted to hide. It leaves Seongwoo breathless as he let his hands roam around the body of his partner, the details being embedded into his mind like it’s the first time. No matter how many times make love, Seongwoo is always left in awe because of how beautiful Minhyun is.

When he bonds with Minhyun like this, Seongwoo thinks he might not be afraid after all.

The moon is their only source of light and it graces him enough to see those eyes he’s learned to love so much. As they peel their clothes off one by one, Minhyun continues to leave  marks on his body, whispering _“Mine”_ in every part that he bruised. Seongwoo felt high, intoxicated with everything that is Minhyun.

Whenever he starts to doubt, Minhyun would always be one step ahead, clearing everything before Seongwoo has a chance to beat himself up. As their future is dimmed with all the possibilities, Seongwoo tries to capture every moment relentlessly. He is not as courageous as people make him out to be, he is insecure, every bit of him. With Minhyun he is safe, without him, Seongwoo is vulnerable, like a child.

Minhyun's touch is cold against his heated skin and it makes him desperate for more. He curls his hand into a fist when Minhyun sucks on his skin, lapping his tongue on the bruise before he moves to another spot. There’s fire burning in the pits of his stomach, as his steady breathing turned ragged, body squirming under the touch, begging for more. He shivers when Minhyun moves downward, teeth slightly grazing his nipple and it makes him moan.

Seongwoo always felt embarrassed being open like this to Minhyun. Compared to his lover, he is nothing but hideous. When he tries to cover his mouth and suppress the sounds, Minhyun would take his hands and kiss them.

“Don’t" Minhyun whispers “They’re beautiful, you’re beautiful”

Minhyun continues on, pressing soft kisses to his lips. Although it's a simple gesture, his grip on Minhyun shoulder just tightens until the kiss they share is more passionate, Minhyun’s tongue probing in his mouth until their bodies are dangerously close to each other that Seongwoo feels his lover’s arousal. He just didn’t want Minhyun, _he needed feel him_. He needed to know Minhyun, every part of him, every nook and cranny, every curve of his body.

Fate tells Seongwoo otherwise, when a series of phone calls and text messages flooded his phone. The text messages came from his younger brother, Jinyoung. The only person who knew about his relationship with Minhyun. The news drains the color on his face and makes Minhyun rush.

_His husband's father died._

He didn’t have to tell Minhyun not to worry because the moment he read the message, he got up to change his clothes and at that second, the fantasy was shattered again. The running back of his lover starts to become blurry as tears flood his eyes. This time, he seemed so far to reach.

The message is loud and clear, he's starting to lose Minhyun and his bed suddenly felt cold, no warmth occupying it.

 

At five in the morning, Jihoon finds himself sitting on the one of the hospital chairs together with Minhyun. His husband didn’t have his phone so it’s a wonder how he got the messages. Someone must have known about the affair and chose to keep it.

Jihoon didn’t have the heart to be angry anymore. He is sick and he felt all the strength in his body leave, as he watched his mother sign the papers relating to his father’s death. The reality is still too harsh for him to accept, as tears streamed down his face turning him into a mess. Nothing’s going good for him.

He found his soulmate but apparently he’s in love with someone else and his father just died. The company will be handed to him-his husband, rather and he felt powerless in everything. Jihoon stood up from his place to go to the fire exit, he didn’t want others to stare and pity him. He wanted to mourn alone but Minhyun thinks otherwise.

“I’m sorry, I...I’m ok” Minhyun feels guilty watching Jihoon cry his heart out as he sat on the stairs. The sobs were uneven, growing soft for awhile before the wailing starts again, like a baby. No pain can equal the amount of losing your parents and he felt it before when he lost his mother.

Despite the cold demeanour he always showed Jihoon, the other man did nothing but sing praises about him when they’re in family gatherings. All the while lies piling up like they were nothing to Jihoon when in reality, he starts to hurt because of them.

Jihoon never liked lying, but he did it for Minhyun.

“Let it all out” Minhyun whispers to him, suddenly within a hand’s reach. It was the second time that day, for Minhyun to show him his affections and he truly appreciated it. As he wrapped his arms around Minhyun’s bigger built, Jihoon felt the warmth he sought. He felt protected, sheltered as he hugged tighter, tears pouring down.

“I’m sorry, for treating you like I did the past months” The apology is sincere, Jihoon can feel it. He never wished for a lot, didn’t ask his parents to buy what he wanted and instead, always went for what he needed and Minhyun’s presence in his.life is vital. He just needed a way to make him stay.

And he needed to use his father.

Jihoon is not this kind of person, but he becomes one because of Minhyun.

“Please stay here” He whispers and after a few seconds, Minhyun complies, nodding his head.

Slowly, Jihoon will take what's rightfully his.

 

Minhyun spends the next couple of weeks with Jihoon, being his support. He doesn’t think it’s so bad, now that he’s actually trying to get to know his soulmate, he found things he was genuinely interested i. Like how he loved food and stuffed toys in general, Minhyun especially adores the way his eye shines whenever they watch a movie together in their home theater.

Jihoon is a lot of things Seongwoo isn’t, Minhyun discovers.

Jihoon always gives a  genuine smile in just about everything. His happiness is radiating, even mornings, when Minhyun is too lazy to get out of bed. He finds happiness in the smallest things, like the toy Minhyun gives him-something he bought on a whim because it reminded him of Jihoon- or the pair of glasses he bought for the two of them because Jihoon said he wanted to go on a trip.

Minhyun realized how different it was to be with Jihoon because he’s carefree and not uptight like Seongwoo is.

Jihoon is not as broken as Seongwoo.

Whereas Seongwoo is pure and broken, Jihoon is untainted and innocent.

At first, Minhyun messages Seongwoo everyday, updating him with everything that’s happening, until those messages are reduced to thrice a week until he forgets to even send one message. It’s not a big deal to him, Seongwoo doesn’t text him, too. Minhyun thinks it’s ok.

It’s ok, until he realized how much things were falling apart when he starts to care for Jihoon the same way he did for Seongwoo.

It didn’t start right away, at first the small gestures he did for him was to act as his emotional support. Minhyun wanted to live with Jihoon peacefully for a year, he wanted to get to know his soulmate before he leaves. He started small, waking him up in the morning to eat breakfast together then it gradually changes to something bigger, like cooking breakfast and watching movies until Minhyun invited Jihoon to sleep together in their bed.

Minhyun tells himself he’s just being nice, but it didn’t last long once they shared their second kiss and something in him ignites. The kiss was supposed to be wrong, he promised Seongwoo he wouldn't do anything, but the feelings felt right for him. Jihoon smelled like the flowers in a garden, like earth and it kept him grounded.

Seongwoo is the last bit of sanity and without him, Minhyun lost all his rationale.

Without any other thoughts, he leaned in for a second kiss, until it can't be counted anymore. There’s no guilt present in Minhyun’s heart as he stripped Jihoon out of his clothes and left marks on the same parts he did on Seongwoo. Jihoon's moans were sweet and seductive, like honey dripping.

_This is wrong_

He tugs the lips of the younger until his hands reached the waistband of his boxers, feeling the hard arousal. Minhyun can’t remember the last time he did it with anyone else but Seongwoo. The hunger devours him until the monster inside him grew free again.

_What about Seongwoo?_

His thrusts were hard inside the smaller built under him. He needed to hear more of Jihoon’s voice, he wanted to feel him more, wanted to know him more, wanted to love him more.

_But you only want Jihoon, you don’t need him._

Minhyun is a liar.

Minhyun is a cheater.

_It’s ok, Jihoon is his soulmate and Seongwoo's not._

_This time, Minhyun needed Jihoon and not Seongwoo._

Even after every promise, Minhyun still cannot run away from the monster that he is.

 

 _To: Minhyun_  
_06.15.18 (19:35:12)_

_Min, where are you? I miss you, aren’t you coming home?_

_To: Minhyun_

_06.22.18 ( 20:35:21)_

_Hey, how are you? Are you eating well? Are you doing well?_

 

_To: Minhyun_

_06.22.18 (20:23:15)_

_Are you busy? Do you have projects you need to work on? I’m sorry if I’m disturbing, I just really need to see you…_

_To: Minhyun_

_07.06.18 (21:45:32)_

_It’s been a month since you last talked to me. I miss you so much. Always eat well and remember I love you._

_To: Minhyun_

_07.13.18 (20:54:12)_

_I heard something today, a news about you. Is it true? Are you sleeping with him?_

_Damn it Minhyun answer me_

_I thought you love me?_

_Are you seriously doing this?_

_Wait, No...I’m sorry..._

_I'll only believe in what you say_

_I trust you._

_I believe in you_

_To: Minhyun_

_07.20.18 (22:12:21)_

_I lpve tou ao mycj_

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know what’s still left for him.

A piece of clothing?

The lingering smell of cologne on the pillow?

A photo in his phone?

A broken promise?

He stops in his tracks, where is he going? Where was his feet taking him?

All the questions comes too fast, his head whirling until he starts to fall. Seongwoo braces himself for the impact but it doesn’t come, instead, someone’s holding him in place. He sees a a pair of black shiny shoes, the person is wearing slacks and when he looked up, a man’s worried expression greets him.

“Are you ok?” The stranger asks, pulling him up to his feet like it’s nothing. “Oh…”

It must've been Seongwoo's drunken state but for a mere second, the man looked like he recognized him. He nods, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

“You’re here to see him?” The question comes out as a statement, the stranger chuckling in process. Once he felt like he won’t vomit, Seongwoo looks up, getting a clearer view of his face and he realizes it’s the same man who bothered him  inside the bar, Kang Daniel.

Seongwoo noticed how he’s dress in fine clothes, hair swept back that he doesn’t look anywhere near the man from the bar. He’s still wearing that distinct cross earring which makes Seongwoo recognize, and for the first time that night, he’s glad to see a familiar face.

“I don’t think you’ll be getting in with that state” Daniel chuckles, the warm rich tone filling his ears “Lucky for you, I’m here. Do you want to be my date for the night?”

“What are you getting out of this?” Seongwoo asks but he’s desperate to see Minhyun. He wants to hold him in his arms, run his fingers through his hair, feel his lips upon his own. Seongwoo didn’t have the time decline any offer especially when there’s an opportunity right in front of him.

“A revelation” Daniel replies and when he holds his arm out, Seongwoo accepts without any hesitation. Daniel is his best bet if he wanted to meet Minhyun.

 

The interior of the mansion makes Seongwoo feel small, makes him feel insignificant even if he's dressed in the fine clothing Daniel gave him. Everyone looked amazing, like the actors he sees in the tv. Every step he took felt like eternity as everyone stared at him with judging eyes. It’s a small society, anyone new in the party is immediately the highlight of the night.

“I think I look ugly” Seongwoo says as he fidget with his suit.

“You look fine” Daniel replies briefly as he scanned the area for a familiar face and when he stops, Seongwoo turns their attention to them as well. He sees an unfamiliar couple standing by a table, their clothes as glamorous as Seongwoo had expected. They wore smiles on their faces like they’ve never been happier and he wonders for awhile if that’s what he looked like to Minhyun.

He doesn’t notice it at first, not until a tall figure came walking in with his hand around a shorter person’s body. The music drowns the crashing of his heart but it didn’t save him from the next scene that happened. The way Minhyun dipped down to kiss Jihoon’s lips felt all too natural. He would know because Minhyun used to give him the same smile.

His body trembles, with uncontrollable anger and desire to destroy that moment. Seongwoo has never been someone to hold a grudge, for the most part, he’s mysterious. Why was Minhyun so happy to be with Jihoon while he’s left with the suffering end of it? Didn’t he promise Seongwoo to wait for a year before they can continue back onto their normal lives? At that very moment, he wanted to make his presence known, wanted to make Minhyun notice him so before he could even stop himself, he moves forward but Daniel beats him to it, holding Jihoon by his wrist.

“Jihoonie, what a pleasure to see you here!” The tone is light hearted, like the ones he used on Seongwoo, it makes him feel like the man is a great actor, a deceiver.

 

The contact surprised Jihoon, making him jump in surprise. The man only gave him a wink, before leaving a peck on his cheek. Kang Daniel stood before him like the person he always is. Out of all the days, Daniel decides to show up now?

“Who do you think you’re touching?” Jihoon turns around just in time to see Minhyun holding Daniel’s wrist. He looks angry?

“I believe the answer is, your husband?” There’s a sly smile on Daniel’s face, the one Jihoon has learned to hate.

Behind all those laughter and sweet talk is a stranger Jihoon doesn’t know. Being childhood friends doesn’t automatically give him a free pass to every identity Daniel has. There are sides to him that Jihoon would rather not discover.

...Like how he almost killed someone with his bare hands.

Jihoon lifts up his head to steal a glance from Minhyun, before touching his arms “He’s just a friend” He hates it when his voice comes out as meek and powerless, but Jihoon can’t ask Minhyun to protect him because it's Daniel they’re talking about.

“How about meeting my partner for the night instead?” Jihoon narrows his eyes at his friend, Minhyun finally letting go. “Seongwoo”

 

When Daniel pulled Seongwoo from behind him, he felt vulnerable with all the stares he got. The commotion earned a few spectators whispering, with each other. The world of the rich is apparently not saved from all useless gossip (Except this isn't useless gossip because it can actually bring a company down)

Seongwoo felt the world stop the moment their eyes met but it wasn’t like before. Before, Minhyun would clasp their hands together, take him to the center and dance with him like there’s no other place he’d rather be, but now, he stood with new partner, his soulmate, their hands entwined together like it's the only thing people should be seeing. 

it leaves him speechless and hurt, like he didn't know what to do. Seongwoo wanted to grab Minhyun's sleeves, pull him aside and bring him back home, but the once warm brown eyes that he loved so much has never felt so cold before. When he caught a glimpse of Jihoon, he saw his hold tighten around their fingers. 

_He knows._

Seongwoo felt like the outsider in the relationship. Minhyun and Jihoon are married, legally bonded together and Seongwoo? He's just the person waiting to be out of the picture. Minhyun doesn't speak to him but Seongwoo doesn't know what to say either. He's standing at the end of the road with nowhere else to go and no one else to save him. 

He was supposed to be the person Minhyun loves, but the mistake is greater than he originally thought. This time, there's no going back for the two of them. 

"Ok, that's enough staring~" Daniel chirpily adds, as if he wasn't the person behind all the trouble. 

Seongwoo lets himself get dragged away until they reached the garden, far away from all the people and this time, Seongwoo breaks down. He cries until he has nothing to spill anymore while Daniel waits for him to finish. He thought, once he finally sees Minhyun, they can go back to the way they once were but this only proved him wrong. 

The universe worked differently and when they say it's fate, it's fate. Nothing could come across it no matter how much you loved each other. It's a bitter thought but Seongwoo at least deserves an explanation. Fate wasn't just going to cut it out. 

“Get away from him” The voice makes him snap his head to the direction and when he sees Minhyun his heart only shatters a bit more. 

"Are you going to take him back? What about Jihoon? What will you do to him" 

"That's none of your business" Minhhun bites back, pushing the smirking Daniel to the hedge "You're not a part of this, get lost"

"Please let me talk to him" Seongwoo allows himself this last time to listen to Minhyun. Daniel only nods, walking away before anything else happens. "What do you want?"

"Let me explain" A cliche line, of course.

"Minhyun, we both know what happened there. You...you simply learned to love your soulmate" The word love felt a hundred times heavier because it was supposed to be them who're in love. Seongwoo thought that if he embraced the darkness in Minhyun,  the man would come back to his arms. Unfortunately, the darkness is not a place he could reach. For as long as he could remember, a part of his world revolve around Minhyun.

"I...I don't know what to do, how should I make up to you?" The desperation is present in his voice but Seongwoo tries to block it.

"There's nothing you can do for me" A flash of confusion passes by his eyes and Seongwoo feels a pang of hurt. He smiles sadly, running his fingers through his hair. He's given up so much, loved so much until he can't breath, until the thorns are buried deep within him.

There should be no hesitation when choosing someone but with Minhyun, every choice was placed on a whim.

Yes, Minhyun makes great decisions but not with the matters of the heart.

"Let's stop this" Seongwoo says before anything could stop him from saying it. Minhyun left a lot of times only to return back to his arms and all Seongwoo did was wait and beg, until he has no dignity left for himself anymore. Seongwoo never loved himself fully, he never had the time to accept his imperfections because whenever Minhyun's there, he embraces it for him. He always looked for approval and he found it within MInhyun. 

"No" The answer is firm. Minhyun has always been selfish.

“Yes. Because you have to learn how to make a choice Minhyun” The weight of his words felt too real as the responsibility falls upon him. He has rejected this option more times than he could count but his mind wanted to be rationale. Seongwoo loved the warmth that is Minhyun, adored the universe that he is but he needed to detach. “We accept people into our lives and it’s a simple matter of choice to stay or leave and it’s my choice if I want to keep them”

“What are you saying?” Even with the crease on his face, Minhyun still looked beautiful that it aches too much because this decision will ultimately decide their fate.

“I’m letting you go Minhyun” Seongwoo no longer wants to feel like the villain of the story. For the longest time, he felt like he’s walking on a tightrope, the only way he can go is forward or down. Every step is misery trapped in a single shaky breathㅡLook back and you’re reeling yourself in a bubble, look down and it’s the pits of darkness, look forward and there’s a small tangible hope.

_Why is it that we fall in love with the people we can’t have even if it means breaking ourselves in the process?_

“I am not giving you a choice because if you had a decision, you wouldn’t have done it, you wouldn’t have hurt me or Jihoon. I’m leaving, Minhyun. Jihoon is your soulmate, give him a chance to be happy, shower him with all the love and care, don’t hide him like you did to us”  

Soulmates are half of a heart joined together to make a whole, without the other, they cannot complete everything. In their six years of relationship, Seongwoo can’t remember the number of times he’s chased after an impossible dream. He loved Minhyun at the wrong time, but maybe, he could love him again when their stars have aligned and their fate has been sealed.

It’s a  frightening thing for Seongwoo, to go against the tides of fate.

Their love might have lasted for a long time but it was supposed to end just like any other great love. Their relationship wasn’t anything special. It had a lot of broken parts, it was a puzzle piece that wasn’t meant to be completed.

A timeline that shouldn’t have existed, a meeting that shouldn’t have converged.


	2. Author's Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Please Read]
> 
> Hello!
> 
> I'm just dropping by to clarify a few things. I've been getting messages in my CC regarding this story, asking me when I'm going to post the next chapter. I don't want to leave those who subscribed hanging, so here I am, apologizing. Originally, I wrote this with a goal of ending their relationship in a joyful path. They made mistakes, loved the wrong people, didn't hesitate to break a relationship for something they desire, lives entangled until there's nothing to salvage anymore. I wanted to continue it, make you see why they do it. Tell the story of each one of them. 
> 
> Halfway through, I felt lost. Why bring back someone who got away from the chains? I had so many questions, so many bumps. I still ask myself, still write some of the parts that feels right to me? Anyways, to be honest with you, I am 99% sure I won't continue this story anymore and 1% is left open to any inspiration I have left or will get in the future.
> 
> With that said, I'm leaving you with this chapter set months after Seongwoo decided to leave Minhyun. It's short, doesn't have much of any information but gives you what Seongwoo can't have back.
> 
> -Ai

 

It feels surreal, staring at the painting his hands managed to create. He had a whole palette of colors. Red, blue, green, yellow but all he could muster to use were black and white. The monochromatic colors painted his world now. While the once rich and and colorful tones faded into the background.

The image stares back at him, black irises boring deep into his soul as if it had life. Seongwoo never meant to recreate him, but his hands had a mind of its own.

The silence used to lull him to sleep. It sets his heart in a rhythmic pattern of serenity. Now, it doesn't bring him anything good. The four walls of his painting room brings him agony. The white walls, albeit without life, mocked him for being alone. It's been months since he felt Minhyun's presence but only a few hours since he saw the face of the man he loved.

Seongwoo thought he could live a life of happiness with Minhyun, where the fours corners of the room could not insult him for being alone, for being by himself. He throws his head back, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips. Perhaps, he's been crazy to wish all along. A life of joy was not meant to be his. It was meant for those who deserved it. He used to be alone in the orphanage, used to being bullied when he started schooling. That was not scary feeling though. The fear that crept in his heart came from the only man who saw him under all those shadows.  

Recreating his image from the memory engraved in Seongwoo's mind wasn't an accident. _What a lie_ , he thinks to himself. The 20 paintings that hung up on the walls only proved it. He thought by surrounding himself with paintings of Minhyun, his heart would be at ease. 

He's wrong. 

Nightmares kept him on his toes. Whenever he closed his eyes, his face would resurface. There were countless of times he could've stopped painting but he never did. His camera can no longer supply new memories for him. It's up to Seongwoo to create them through the work of his mind and his hands. 

 _"What a sad person you are"_ Daniel tells him one day he visited. The rich young heir always loved to make fun of his pathetic life. Seongwoo wanted to fend him off but being laid off from his job, Daniel supplied his daily needs in exchange for amusement. He would buy a canvas, a set of brushes and paint, even if he knew Seongwoo only painted with monochromatic colors. His suggestions used to tick him but not anymore. He's used to tuning him out.

Seongwoo painted memories of the past and uncertainties of the future. They're like a broken tape. He doesn't have any power to stop them from repeating. Minhyun is his life, his universe, his safe place. But the magic's gone, mirror shattered.

He felt empty, used and thrashed away, but the longing remained.

Seongwoo’s silent, fingers tracing the outline of his work carefully. From his dark tousled hair, to his dark eyes, high bridged nose and his lips. They invaded his dreams and taunt him in nightmares. Whenever he wakes up, they would all disappear, tucked in the deep crevice of his mind but when he goes to sleep, they start again.

His touch lingers on the scars he created. Open and closed wounds, bloodied and bruised but has never been physically there. Minhyun doesn't say it but Seongwoo sees more than he lets on. He always hid his ugly scars under fake smiles and empty eyes. they're under his broken battered wings. He always thought of Minhyun as an angel. 

But no matter how hard he tried, the darkness in him finds a way out. 

Seongwoo accepted every one of them. 

The scars were beautiful in his eyes.

The imperfections made him less than a god, but more than human.

Minhyun effortlessly hid his darkness but Seongwoo painted it for the world to see. 

Seongwoo should've realized a long time ago that he can never escape hold of the only man who can fix him.

When his hand reached the name of the painting, Seongwoo's lips curved into a sad smile. 

_The Fallen Angel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who read this story, gave a kudos and commented, thank you so much! It's my first time to write a fic like this. I'm not sure if this is angst or dark but either way, I hope you enjoyed. I've read the comments and felt really thankful for your insights. 
> 
> If you feel the need to shout at me, feel free to do in the comment section. I know, there should've been a long final chapter. Comments are always appreciated, constructive criticisms, too :)
> 
> Anyways, Happy Holidays everyone and may you be blessed by a wonderful new year! 
> 
> -Ai

**Author's Note:**

> If you reached the end, I want to thank you for going through this roller coaster. I hope I made you feel things. I really hope I did, it's better than feeling nothing at all. This is the first time I've participated in such an event and since it ended, I honestly feel lonely, but I know the cult still has stuff prepared for us in the future. I love you all beautiful people.
> 
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/peachyfox) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/peachyfoxstar)


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